As this is a personal blog, do not expect the following to be an objective essay using the scientific method (for clarification: FL=First Life)
Last night I was dancing with a friend I have only known for a short time. As things often go with dancing in SL (though for me dancing is just that: dancing!), he started trying to seduce me. [Alarm!] While chatting along a few topics came up, like him having a gf in SL (I do not know his marital status in FL) and being polygamous [Alarm!], and finally him stating this is a game and this is not love but just feelings of love - HUH?! [Alarm!].
I know there exist different views on this topic, but I wonder if people stating that this is just a game and these are just pixels are not trapped in self-betrayal. From my point of view this is exactly what leads to an insensitive and unempathic treatment of others in VR or maybe on the web in general.
Statement 1 - this is a game
SL is not a common MMORPG like The Sims or WoW. While in those "games" you can choose a (pre-built) character to RP, there are still restrictions. Usually you have some sort of given story, environment, devices and thread along which your character plays and interacts with other characters (like many do in SL on RP sims) and it is much more like acting in a theatre play: you know the character, you know the background, you know the rules and you play along, writing the story as you go more or less. Now, are all the people in SL consenting on playing in some sort of RP? By far, not. How else would it be possible to do education, fundraising, music, readings in here? Those are all things transferable to FL (how is the shooting or slaying of monsters transferable?). People get to know each other in SL, fall in love, meet in FL and even get married in FL then. For me, this is an extension of my FL, I can go to a gallery or a museum, a reading, a theatre play, a workshop, which I might not be able to visit in FL for various reasons. VR gives us the possibility to create and emulate a real environment, to interact with each other, to create and to learn. It is an expansion of the web and all those 2D places like myspace, facebook, twitter, email etc., it is a new immersive level of the web and networking as a whole.
Statement 2 - just pixels
My keyboard cannot talk, and pixels do not hear. I am always aware that there is a person sitting at a keyboard just like me. Maybe in some future the PCs or whatever those might be called by then will start to communicate on their own (oh hell, you like that dystopia?), but at present it is not so. And though we lack taste, smell, touch in VR, we cannot deny we are humans interacting with other humans. I like to state that porn is just pixels, too, but it seems to work for many, doesn't it? And as the graphics improve and the cartoonish look vanishes more and more, it gets evermore realistic. Yes, most of us do not look the same as in FL, we all look nice and pretty, handsome -but it is still part of our personality we show in what way ever. The artist creates, but he cannot hide completely behind his/her work, something of the personality will always shine through. If you are bullying or harrassing people in here IMHO you are either a bully in FL too or you act out what you may not allow yourself to do in FL, but it is still YOU doing it.
Now, I have a few questions for you to answer to yourself (and by friends I mean FRIENDS, not just the contacts we all use to have on our longish "friends list"):
- If a supposed good SL friend removes you from their friends list without a word or obvious reason, how do you feel about it?
- If someone in SL calls you names and is generally obnoxious, aggressive, insulting, how do you feel about it (and I mean really feel about it, besides ToS and abuse reports you can write)?
- Do you keep contact with your friends online other than in SL?
- Have you ever met or would you like to meet any of your SL friends in FL? Are you even planning a trip already?
- Do you know FL backgrounds of your SL friends? Do you share parts of your FL background with your friends?
- Do your SL earnings contribute to your FL budget?
You can surely come up with more questions.
I do not confuse anonymity with playing a game. People may have reasons to stay anonymous and I respect that, the web is full with stalkers and crazies, and some of them use SL for their cruel and unhealthy conditions and ambitions. Even in that SL is not very different from FL, we get the whole package.
And those people might well state that this is just a game as an excuse for their misconduct. Sorry, I do not accept such an excuse. It just shows me the general state of mindset they are in (or maybe our world is in).
As for me, I am human still, no matter what my avatar looks like, it is a visual entity of my personality. If you think this is just a game and we are all just pixels - please, stay away from me. This is not a game, and I do not like to be game either.
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1 year ago
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8 comments:
This is a thoughtful consideration of what is - as you say - a topic of great concern to many in SL. On the one hand, it's probably worth pointing out that the behaviour of people in SL only reflects the behaviour of people in FL (there are plenty of people in FL who fail, utterly, to empathise with the needs of others in RL, just as in SL; the difference is, we're usually better at spotting them in RL). On the other hand, it *is* more complicated than that because we're entering into the age of what could perhaps be termed 'digital identity' and, accordingly, there are lots of new ways via this medium in which we can interact with others. And all of these ways are open to abuse. In metaverse environments which permit anonymity (and I would also count myself amongst those who support the need for anonymity) the issue of the identity - or identities - we chose to adopt (and the impact that has on others) is likely to preoccupy social scientists for many decades to come!
Brava Morgue! I couldn't agree more. I look upon my virtual self as an expression of my real self, of my soul. One hopes that all our souls are beautiful, but of course we have too much evidence that it is not the case. Some souls are tainted, and Huck makes the excellent point that sometimes they are harder to spot in VR - we are not breathing the same air, making or breaking eye contact. The veil of the screen leaves us vulnerable to deceit and extensions of illusion. None the less, I am with you: trust your instincts. Someone recently said to me "You are entitled to be happy and to have the Second Life that you desire." I think so. That includes not being "Pub Bait" for every idiot jonesing for some action and trying to convince me that it is "nothing really" . . . just a game.
While not making any excuses for rudeness, selfishness or other bad behaviour in SL, I would comment that there is a useful function to SL sex, and it can be healthy and constructive [as long as it's between consenting adults]. People who are experimenting with their sexual orientation, or inexperienced people who want to try out a sexual relationship from seduction to consummation, can do it virtually. This is potentially an excellent sex education method, and as it's being done by real people, those taking part can experience close to the real emotions too. Of course it's wrong to harass people who aren't interested in SL sex [and often make it clear they are not, on their profiles] - but just inviting another avatar is at worst a faux pas on a level with inviting a teetotaller for a drink or a muslim for a ham sandwich. All they have to do is say 'no'. Let's not confuse being invited to do something you don't want to do with outright griefing or trolling.
When we interact with other human beings online, whether it be in SL, WoW, Facebook, etc., we are not "playing a game" unless we have pre-agreed to certain activities, i.e. slay monsters/enemies, play chess, role play. Otherwise we are "playing" with the emotions of others and should exercise the same care that we would (hopefully) use in RL. Seems simple enough to me: A jerk is a jerk whether it's in FL, SL or anywhere else.
Thank you all very much for your comments, more food for thought in them.
I do think we are just at the beginning with VR and web3D, it might well develop into something entirely different within the next few years, implementing features we get already with Wii and such, we will move our avatars by actually moving, some sort of MOCAP on a higher level, we might get the sense of touch, be able to actually emote - and finally, we might end with holograms and holodecks, getting rid of these 2D screens, so bodylanguage will be visible.
Anonymity might give us more control about a situation, we can just push a button and leave without a trace, but it also can lead to more separation from each other. But, putting on a mask can also lead to more honesty (like being the jester). We need to choose the level of closeness we want, always.
VR can be some sort of training environment for personality disorders and such, but as it is now it can be JUST THAT, left to trial and error (well, like in FL, not?). Serious counceling and therapy are not yet possible due to the anonymity and all the above, but also prohibited by laws, for the sake of both, therapist and client. It might well change in future with the VRs improving. But the potential for education in those areas and healthcare in general is there already.
As to the scene I was describing, it was not so much the approach because I always can say "No", but the circumstances I did mind. The guy did not force me into anything, he did not run around shouting "Wanna f***?" (though, in the end that is what it was all about, I think). I agree it is all a question of consent and the rules must be clear, but that is often not the case. What I really mind is the notion of "This is just a game" and expecting everyone to see it the same way. The gamer leaves a person broken-hearted and hurt and then states "This is just a game, get over it" or disappears without a word, just to show up with an alt and another relationship - I saw that happen and the SL blogs are full with this, I gave up on reading them as they were too upsetting. Yes, a jerk is a jerk whether it's in FL, SL or anywhere else.
Thoughtful and well stated Marie
As virtual world become more integrated with our authentic offline counter parts (and they will for the purpose of business and education) I think this concept of anonymity will be adjusted accordingly.
Two sets of morality? One for online and one for offline? Depends on the user I suppose. My stance is one brain many interfaces, and it all matters frankly.
But as you can imagine this is an unpopular stance with those that are eager to "bend" or define their digital existence in ways that free them up from the burden of integrity.
Personal choice.
My preference is to maintain a direct connection of my faculties regardless of my interface. Any other means (in my humble opinion) reeks of nefarious intentions or some kind of pixel schizophrenia.
xoxo
Skylar
Thank you for this cogent and well-stated treatise on the reality of VR and SL's connection to FL, which is undeniable in my view.
I feel grateful for your thoughtful commentary and for your sharing of your POV on this important topic. As technology advances and the ways in which we can communicate with others increase, taking time to ponder how it is we interact (and what those interactions may mean in the lives of ourselves and others) is vital. Respecting differences, honouring our points of meeting, and learning and growing from our shared experiences broaden our horizons and bring us much to enjoy.
I thank you for expressing my belief also that SL is more than "just a game." Indeed, I feel it of immense importance that the deeper meanings of this experience (whatever they may be for each person engaged here) be explored to the full.
With abiding gratitude and a wish for peace. - from Mireille
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